I will paint a picture for you why we cannot find them.

Take an atom for example. The size of the nucleous compared to the entire atom could be relative to a tennis ball on a tennis court.

The nucleous floats around and everything around it is empty space. chances of passing particles colliding is almost impossible. Stellar dark matter particles pass through your body and almost none of them create any reaction. You do not feel them because they pass through you.

They may also be working under a different set of physics where most of our matter does not even get affected. If so this would be like trying to hit a tennis ball with a racket that has no strings. You can see an example of this on the TV show about our universe. Technically, this is possible, and very probable. Due to this fact our scientific instruments cannot detect these particles, yet they may shape the spacetime on which we travel.

Note that this does not apply to all dark matter.. as the term contains many catagories of different dark matters, all foreign to us and all different

Imagine you have a cargo ship floating on water with 100,000 tons of containers. this will be our supergiant star.
The water can represent spacetime.

For example sakes, The bottom of the ship may be 100 feet below the water yet it stays afloat.

Imagine something happens that changes the tanker into a 90 foot yacht with the same amount of cargo

The yacht will sink because the water it displaces with 90 feet is lighter than 100,000 tons.

Similarly. if the star is Big enough to be a black hole, it is spread out. A star’s collapse, the weight changes slightly but the size changes significantly.

This in space is similar to what happens to the black hole in its creation.

Because density is so high. the gravitational pull of that small are becomes immense. Remember. these black holes are extremely small compared to their giant star counterpart.

Basically its a very heavy compressed star.

When a supergiant star is burning. The total mass of the star is big however since the diameter is also large, its mass is spread out. When it collapses, the explosion creates heavier elements which are bunched up very closely.

It still has the same overall gravity. however near the center the gravity is strong enough to pull in particles like light.

I will look up how much smaller it becomes than its original form, but that fact is only trivial

do you think this is the first universe that has ever come into existence? if not do you think that infinite eternities before this universe came into existence could have brought about unimaginable yet logical, rational, and real and true causes to the existence of this universe?

do you suggest a cause for the existence of the laws of physics,, and why the seemingly infinite amount of energy as the pre big bang universe converted into a highly ordered and organized system uniformly universally composed of atoms constructing up a massive macro physical reality,,, which exists by creating physical mass?